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Women’s Empowerment 5-Class Session in Mesa, Az

Feel empowered. You need it, you deserve it, you’re worth it!


Hello to all you women in the sunny east valley of Arizona!  It’s about time that you take time for YOU… your mental, emotional, and physical health depend on it!

How empowered are you? Take this anonymous survey here to get a better idea of whether or not this class could be of benefit to you!  Survey link <HERE>

**Discounted prices available for those who know ahead of time that they will miss a class or two.**

***Keep in mind that Kids Club is available if you don’t have a babysitter for your kids.***

This class is for women who desire to be less stressed, overwhelmed and self-conscious and instead become more carefree, relaxed and confident all while embracing our own strengths AND imperfections. The goal of this class is to empower you to obtain strength and balance in the upward mountain climb of life and become more gleefully YOU! Come support each other as we strengthen and develop the whole self mentally, emotionally, physically and socially. We need it, we deserve it, we’re worth it! 


It’s time to get that belief in yourself to the level you deserve!!

Find out what I’m all about on Facebook! <HERE>

FOR JUNE’S 5-Class Session DETAILS AND TO REGISTER   (since we have already started classes this month, price is reduced if you would still like to join in!) CLICK👉HERE👈

FOR JULY’S 5-Class Session DETAILS AND TO REGISTER CLICK  👉HERE👈


Until next time,

Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;)

I just CAN’T get motivated!!!

Do you ever feel like you just CAN’T get motivated on some days? I do! Typically on those days the only thing I end up getting done are the things that I’m in the habit of doing.

Why? Because when something is an established habit, you don’t need motivation to do it. You just do it because that’s what you do. It doesn’t take any time or energy to convince and motivate yourself to do it because you don’t have to think about it. It just happens because it’s a habit! 

Recently I wasn’t feeling well physically and mentally because I was in the first trimester of my pregnancy. I found that during this time, the only thing for certain that I could get myself to do was workout. Not because I love working out (I thought that would happen for me someday, but it hasn’t). Not because I felt good enough to work out (I for SURESIES did N-O-T) … but because it has been a habit that I have kept up with for a long time so I don’t even think twice about whether I’m going to do it or not. I just do it because that’s what I do out of habit.
Three easy things I did to establish a habit… 

 1. Find internal reasons why doing this habit consistently would be beneficial for me.

For example, internal reasons I found for working out was that it helped me manage anxiety and depression and increased my overall stamina and energy for the day. (Notice that internal reasons are very different than external reasons. External reasons don’t always carry us through, especially when the external results aren’t happening fast enough or the way we imagined and hoped. External results should be looked at more as a bonus! Not a necessity.) 

 2. Establish a set time, day, and location that I plan to complete this habit consistently. 

This takes out having to waste mind power on answering questions like… Where should I do this today? What time do I want to do this today? Do I even feel like doing this today? When I have that many unanswered questions, it’s a lot easier for me to just not do it at all!  

 3. Commit to someone else that I want to make this a habit and ask that person to ask me about it to hold me accountable. 

If you don’t have someone who can do that for you or if your habit is too personal to bring up to someone else, then try setting up a follow-up reminder in your phone to be accountable to. Decide that if the follow-up reminder goes off and you still haven’t done that thing you had wanted to do, do it right then, or schedule a time that day when you can make up for it as soon as possible.

And that’s it!!!

 Now that I’m done with the first trimester YUCKIES, I have realized ALL the other things that I want to turn into habits. My mind started overwhelming me with all the habits I wanted and needed to start! “Ok, ok, simmer down.” I have to tell myself. “Start with one thing at a time.” Self-compassion and patience with yourself is always beneficial when starting new habits. 

So start now, but start small.

 Until next time,

 Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;-)
 

It’s hard to get through the rough times without a bit of humor. Here’s my latest…

Motivational Tip 5: When You’re Trapped, Free Yourself!

Ever feel like you’re trapped in a box? In some sort of a vicious cycle that you or someone else put you in? I have. Now that I recognize the box I’m in, it’s much easier to climb out! But you can’t free yourself until you know what box you’re in.

According to The Arbinger Institute’s “Anatomy of Peace,” there are typically 4 types of boxes a person may find himself or herself in.

1. The Better-Than Box:

View of Myself – Superior, Important, Virtuous/Right

View of Others – Inferior, Incapable/Irrelevant, False/Wrong

View of World – Competitive, Troubled, Needs Me

Feelings – Impatient, Disdainful, Indifferent

2. The I-Deserve Box:

View of Myself – Meritorious, Mistreated/Victim, Unappreciated

View of Others – Mistaken, Mistreating, Ungrateful

View of World – Unfair, Unjust, Owes Me

Feelings – Entitled, Deprived, Resentful

3. The Must-Be-Seen-As Box:

View of Myself – Need to be well thought of, Fake

View of Others – Judgmental, Threatening, My Audience

View of World – Dangerous, Watching, Judging Me

Feelings – Anxious/Afraid, Needy/Stressed, Overwhelmed

4. The Worse-Than Box:

View of Myself – Not as good, Broken/Deficient, Fated

View of Others – Advantaged, Privileged, Blessed

View of World – Hard/Difficult, Against me, Ignoring me

Feelings – Helpless, Jealous/Bitter, Depressed

Do you see yourself in any of those boxes? I have a tendency to be in two of those boxes and now that I recognize it, I catch myself all the time! This is step one of getting out of the box… catching yourself in it so you can quickly climb out of it.

Getting stuck in these boxes can make achieving goals and living day to day a lot more stressful and overwhelming. Living out of the box is such a liberating experience.

One of the boxes I found myself in a lot was the “must be seen as” box. For me, I had to be seen as perfect/always happy/having everything “together” even though it wasn’t that way AT ALL. I didn’t even realize I was doing this to myself and that it was causing a lot of unnecessary anxiety and depression.

Something I did to help myself out of this box was allowing people to see me as imperfect, showing my true emotions to people, and letting people see that I don’t have it all together. Not only has this been very freeing for me but it’s also been very freeing for other people in my life to feel like they can be themselves around me.

I’d love to hear if you have recognized yourself being in any of these boxes if you don’t mind sharing!

Until next time,

Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;-)

Motivational Tip 5: Self-Love

Hey everyone!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether or not you have a significant other… doesn’t matter! I’m going to focus on the importance of self-love for this week’s motivational thought. All you need for that is me, myself, and I! (Well… you, yourself and you;-)

Recently I went through an hour long competitive interview process for Mrs. Mesa Arizona International. The interview questions were challenging, in-depth, and thought provoking. I was well prepared for all of them, except for the last one…

“What do you love most about yourself?”

Say whaaaaaatttt????

That’s the only question that I was not prepared to answer! I had to take an extra moment to really delve in, self-reflect and find out what it was that I loved most about myself.

This was a challenge because I used to not want anything to do with self-love. I was under the impression that self-love was just an excuse for people to be self-absorbed, selfish, and vain. Come to find out, I was extremely misinformed!

Self-love isn’t that at all. Self-love is developing a healthy appreciation for your whole self. Supporting your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Recognizing and honoring your feelings. Embracing your imperfections and accepting your weaknesses as well as recognizing your strengths. When a person has this love for his or her whole self, achieving goals, self-improvement and loving others comes more easily.

What would you have answered to the question “What do you love most about yourself?”

It’s hard right!?

But seriously, answer the question. It’s the best valentine you can give yourself!

Here’s an excellent article about how to develop greater self-love from Psychology Today. Click here to view.

Until next time,

Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;-)

Motivational Tip 4: Start Small

Have you ever felt like some days you’ve given yourself a lot of things to do and even though it is possible to complete it all, the feeling of stress and overwhelm make it harder to start and complete the tasks? I have. This used to happen to me a lot actually, until I began to change my processes of thought.

Have you ever felt like some days you’ve given yourself a lot of things to do and even though it is possible to complete it all, the feeling of stress and overwhelm make it harder to start and complete the tasks?  I have.  This used to happen to me a lot actually, until I began to change my processes of thought.

Changing my thought process helped me out with the following…

1. Getting myself to stop procrastinating.

2. Tackling a big project.

3. Getting stuff done even though I’m feeling tired or low on energy.

4. Feeling less overwhelmed when doing what’s required of me for the day.

5. Getting the stuff done that needs to get done and still having time to do stuff for myself that I’d like to do.

I realized that the thoughts I was having when I had a lot to accomplish were self-wallowing, over-reactive, and un-true statements. Things like, “I’m never going to get all this stuff done.” “I have too much to do, there’s no way I can finish it all today.” “Even when I do all that stuff, there’s just going to be a never-ending list for me to do after that, it makes it impossible for me to even want to start.”

These statements are unproductive and actually counterproductive. Instead I learned to change those statements and thoughts into more truthful statements like, “I may not get this all done today but I can get a portion done for sure.” “This project will be on-going for quite some time, so how about after I work on it for an hour I’ll spend a half hour doing something that I want to do just to break it up.” “How about I just start small instead of doing nothing at all.”

These types of statements make it easier to get started and get going on what needs to be done. This can help with feelings of stress and overwhelm and lead to a more productive way of life. Oftentimes, getting started is the hardest part and usually once I get going, I end up getting more done than I thought I could originally.

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Breaking up the have-to-do list with the things from my want-to-do list have really helped my motivation and productivity. When I have something planned that I want to do for my own enjoyment (like working on my hobbies, pampering myself mentally or physically in some way not having to do with food/drink/dessert etc.) it helps to make mundane tasks that I have to do seem less weighing because I have something that I know I can do for myself to lift my spirits part of the way through my have-to-do list.

During a time in my life when I gave up on all of my hobbies and things that I did only for me and my own enjoyment, I felt much more overwhelmed, stressed and depressed in completing my day to day responsibilities. If you feel like you’ve given up those types of things, I’d encourage you to rediscover them!

Some things I like to do for my own personal enjoyment are, dance or sing loudly to empowering music of my choice, going to belly dance class, composing songs, being goofy, relaxing in a bubble bath while listening to music that speaks to my current emotions, blogging, coming up with motivational quotes that I need at the moment and posting them on my Instagram, seeing and enjoying the beauty in nature, spending time with friends, or making YouTube videos.

I used to call my kids my hobby.  Although I love doing things with and for my kids, it just wasn’t providing me the mental and emotional strength and motivation that I needed. That’s certainly not the case for everyone. I used to think that my husband could be a good substitute for all of my hobbies and things that I did just for me. I learned later that having our own set of hobbies is actually a sign of a healthy relationship and a mentally and emotionally healthier me!
I’d love to hear about what you do just for you and any ideas about how you all get yourselves to dive into a big project or to-do list!

Click on the following links for my past motivational tips about self-compassion , self-approval , or overcoming what others think of you.

Until next time,

Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;-)

Motivational Tip 3: What Others Think of You

This week I’d like to discuss the value of what other people think of you. There is some value in what others think, but not as much as most of us place on it. Being overly concerned about what other people think of you can be a burden and can create unnecessary stress. It can cause a lot of fear when it comes to putting yourself out there in your personal life or business pursuits.

 

At a young age I started down the path of placing too much value on what people thought of me. This had gradually become more severe for me throughout my life up until last year when my Psychologist/Therapist helped me realize how I was letting it affect my life to the point of giving me extreme anxiety. I had actually reached a point where I believed that if a person thought something about me, that in itself made it true. I began imagining people were thinking the worst of me much of the time and believed it was true, just because I thought they believed that of me.
I’m learning that this is actually a situation that many people find themselves in, not always to the extreme level that I experienced it. Studies show that many people overestimate how much, and how badly, others think about us. (See here for reference.)
My purpose in writing about this is to help people identify such things to prevent unnecessary stress and anxiety.  Here are some examples from my life that signified to me that I cared too much about what people thought of me…

-Finding myself frequently explaining my reasoning for my actions to people.

-Feeling silly, self-conscious or embarrassed when doing something in front of somebody else.

-Second guessing a post, text, or pic/video that I had originally felt good about when I first posted it.

-Bending over backwards to keep a person happy with me.

-Getting especially stressed out when my kids are misbehaving or acting their age in public.

-Frantically cleaning my house more than usual just because someone is coming over.
Everyone’s experiences will be different in one way or another from mine. The first step in changing is recognizing such things in your life so that it won’t cause stress and hold you back any longer.
If you have already noticed yourself being overly concerned about what people think about you, here’s what can be done.
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1. Realize that you cannot be in control of what others think of you.
2. Realize that whatever it is that you think they are thinking, they usually aren’t even thinking those things. And even if they are, that doesn’t mean it’s true.
3. Realize that typically what you think someone is thinking about you is actually what you think about yourself.
4. When you find yourself overly concerned about what a person might think of you, delve in and ask yourself specifics.
For example, “What am I worried people will think about me regarding _______.”
“I’m concerned that they will think that I’m _________.”
“Is it true that I am _________?”
“No it isn’t true that I am ________so I don’t need to worry about them thinking that.”
Or
“Yes, maybe I am________, so what can I do to change that so I don’t feel that way about myself anymore.”
These four steps are things that have helped me to overcome my anxieties surrounding what people think of me. If you’re interested in learning more about how to not worry about what people think of you, see this article from Psychology Today (click here).
Do you like this tip? If so, you might appreciate my weekly email that provides free motivational support to achieve your goals and dreams.  To sign up, click here.
If you know of a publisher, agent, or someone who would be willing to sponsor/publish a children’s book about this subject, please let me know by commenting below!
I’d love to hear your personal experiences regarding how you have overcome placing too much value on what other people think of you! Feel free to comment below! If you’re interested in my previous motivational tips, click the following Tip 1: Self-Compassion or Tip 2: Self-Approval.
 A special thanks to continuedoptimism.com for letting me use her quote.  Her blog has many inspiring words.
Until next time,
Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;-)

Motivational Tip 2: Self-Approval

Recently I have realized that whenever I feel stressed, overwhelmed, or pressured about something, those feelings can be relieved when I question myself, “What happened that created these feelings?” I like to refer to this “thing” that created those negative feelings as the “CONTENDING OPPONENT” in my internal battle that I’m experiencing. When I realize what the contending opponent is doing,  I can then talk myself through it in a self-compassionate way (see here for more about self-compassion) and then be able to get through those stressful moments sooner.

The Contending Opponent for me is typically one of the following:

  1. Needing (not just wanting) outside approval.
  2. Comparing myself to others.
  3. The inner-critic telling me I’m not good enough, not capable, not a good _______ (fill in the blank).
  4. My perfectionist tendencies that I hold myself to without mercy.

This week, the contending opponent for me was reason number 1. Placing too much value in needing someone to approve of me and think highly of me.  I’ve always had a dangerously deep need for outside approval and now that I recognize it, I realize how much stress it has created in my life. That extreme need for outside approval became powerful enough to undermine the approval I had of myself.

Of course we all have a natural desire to be liked and approved of.  However, when that desire for approval reaches such an extreme level, it can start to diminish a person’s identity because that person is so focused on being what everyone else would approve of. For much of my life, I had been doing everything based on how other people would approve of it and based on what they would think of it. Since I had no control of what anyone else thought of me, this left me in an extremely stressful place when a person did not approve of me or think highly of me. I have decided that I am done with giving other people that much power in my life.

So what can be done if you’ve found yourself overly dependent on having outside approval like I have? The first step is to recognize it.  This is the hardest part.  Once you start recognizing it you can start telling yourself things like…

I have self-worth regardless of what that person thinks.

I approve of what I’m doing and so it doesn’t matter if anybody else does.

I am doing this thing for personal reasons, not for that person’s approval.

I am the one in charge of my life and I accept myself and what I’m doing.

These are my go-to statements that are personal to what I struggle with. You can come up with your own!  I recommend writing them down and reading them frequently, especially when you start feeling the need for outside approval.

I made a video about my experience last week where my extreme need for having a person’s approval of me created stress and what I did about it…

 

If you would like to learn more about the need for approval read this article here from Psychology Today.

If you’re interested in my blog post about perfectionism, click here.

If you’re interested in my blog post about comparing yourself to others, click here.

If you’re interested in my blog post about the inner-critic, click here.

If you would like to be a part of my Motivational Support Group and receive an email once a week with psychology based tips such as this, click here!

 

Until next time,

Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;-)

 

 

Motivational Tip 1: Self-Compassion

Happy first week in January everybody!!! 2017 is here and already I woke up UNMOTIVATED! What should I do?  I have people counting on me to motivate them in their New Year’s Goals! Here’s what I did…

It’s called self-compassion BABY!!!
Last year was the first time I had ever heard about this term. Little did I know back then, what a difference it can make in being motivated to accomplish goals.
 
Self-compassion involves being kind, caring and understanding with yourself instead of being critical or judgmental. It also recognizes that all humans are imperfect and to be patient with those imperfections in yourself. Lastly, being aware of any stressful or overwhelmed feelings in a clear and balanced manner so that you aren’t  ignoring or obsessing about disliked aspects of your life or yourself (Neff, Kristin, Ph.D. “Let Go of Self-criticism and Discover Self-compassion.” Psychology Today. Psychology Today, 18 Mar. 2011. Web. 04 Jan. 2017).
 
Some examples from my life when I caught my inner-critic up to no good and changed that pathway of thought into being more self-compassionate;
 
Inner-critic says, “You’re such a bad mom, you never make cookies for your kids.”
 
Self-compassionate me says, “I’m good at doing other things for my kids, just because baking cookies isn’t one of them, doesn’t make me a bad mom.”
 
Inner-critic says, “You’re house is never clean, you are such a bad wife/housekeeper.”
 
Self-compassionate me says, “Ya, the house is messy and it’s because I have 3 young kids who are still learning how to be clean and we’re human and it’s normal for messes to happen.”
 
Once you respond to yourself in that self-compassionate way, it takes away the stress and pressure and feelings of overwhelm. Then it makes it easier to look at it in a more balanced way and make any changes if you desire.
 
I made a video yesterday about my experience that I had when I woke up and immediately felt overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious about the day. I explain what I did and how self-compassion helped me to get through those feelings a lot faster and easier so that I could still accomplish my goals for the day!
 
Here’s the video…

 

If you are wanting one email a week with tips like this that has motivation for you to achieve your New Year’s Goals, click here so I can add you to my free “New Year’s Goals 2017” support group!  Let’s support each other!

Here’s more information about becoming more self-compassionate from Psychology Today.  Click here to view.

Until next time,

Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;-)

 

 

 

New Year’s Goals 2017: 3 Reasons Why People Quit

Learn how to overcome 3 reasons that keep a person from achieving goals!

We all have reasons for quitting our goals. I have come up with 3 of the main reasons a person gives up on his/her goals and how to overcome those reasons!!!  To learn more, view my video below…

 

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Part 6: Dreams Die Before Coming True: May They NOT Rest In Peace

Overcome the inner-critic who is getting you to compare yourself to others.

Welcome Back!

If you’re new here, you may want to know what you’ve missed.  For a quick overview of my past blog posts click here.

Below is the 5th out of 5 MAJOR reasons for giving up on a dream and how to overcome that reason. All of the reasons listed in my mini-series posts are created by a person’s own inner-critic. The name I have given for that inner self-critic is “The Brain Bully.” Do not let it bully you around and have free reign over your mind!

Overcoming reason number 5: (Comparing yourself to others who have already successfully accomplished your dream.)

Nothing is wrong with observing what other people have done with their goals and dreams and getting inspired by them to do something about your own dreams.  However, the Brain Bully will try to find a loophole to barge into this innocent observance by stating things like,

“You’ll never be as successful as her/him.” Or, “Maybe you’d be that good if you’d started a long time ago when you were younger.” Or, “You should be working towards your goal right now but you’re not.” Or, “No matter your personal abilities, that person will always do it better than you.” These type of statements are poison to achieving your dreams. KICK THAT BULLY OUT TO THE CURB ONCE AND FOR ALL!

 

“STOOOOOOOOP BULLYING ME YOU BULLYING BULLY-FACE!!!!”

 

Now that the bullying has stopped, you can figure out the bully’s message that it is trying to get across to you.  Remember, bullies usually have feelings or a message to communicate but just don’t know how to do so in a productive way. Perhaps in this situation your bully just wants to let you know that you are capable of doing great things just as that person you are admiring. Your results may look different because you aren’t the same person but your talents can take you far just as that person has progressed in his/her talents. Admiring and comparing are very different actions.  Admiring someone who inspires you to be your best self is very helpful.  However, comparing yourself to other people and their strengths and accomplishments can be a discouragement to making self-progress.

We live in a day in age where we have the opportunity to be involved with social media pictures and videos at our fingertips. This can be inspirational for helping us get ideas about what amazing things are possible and has the potential to motivate us as long as we keep the Brain Bully behind bars while doing so. If you start feeling guilty while viewing social media, ask yourself, “why am I feeling this way because of this?” Figure out what the Brain Bully is telling you and figure out what you can do about it’s underlying message.

When you start measuring your own successes against someone else’s standard, someone who is in a different circumstance than you, all of the sudden what you were so proud of yourself for achieving before becomes less praiseworthy in your head. This can be very discouraging when you are working towards a goal or dream.  To avoid this, try thinking instead things like,

“I’m making progress according to where I was last year in achieving this goal.” Or, “Doing something small to achieve my dream is better than doing nothing at all.”  Or, “If I continue working towards my dream in steady increments, I will become better and better.” Or, “I will eventually find my own success unique to me alone but only as I keep trying without giving up.”

Great empowerment comes when you compare your progress only to your own self.  That same empowerment comes when you set your own standard, work towards it and achieve it according to that standard and not anyone else’s.

Recognize the fine line between getting inspired by others and comparing yourself to others.  Getting inspired by other people can be a great motivator but comparing yourself to them can be an inhibitor of your success.

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Sometimes we have this idea of what the perfect person would do and compare ourselves to that.  This is an easy way for the brain bully to sneak in… so beware!  If this perfectionist ideal is something that causes you stress, you may find my post “3 Steps to Become an IMperfectionist” helpful. Click here to view.

So, is it really better not to have a dream at all?  NO WAAAAAYYYY! If you have realized that your dreams are buried, just as mine were not too long ago, don’t worry. Your dream will come back to you as you start simply by doing something each week that you are passionate about; something to better yourself in your own abilities and talents.

If you are interested in receiving an email when my next blog post is up, click here!

If you would like to be a part of my “2017 New Year’s Goals Google Group” where we will motivate, support each other and have accountability to each other for our goals, click here and then click on application request.  Comment below this blog post so I know to look for your applicant request!

For more information about the dangers of comparing yourself to others and how to do it in a more helpful way see this article from Psychology Today written by Deborah Carr, Ph.D.  Click here to view. 

Until next time,

Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;-)

 

If you’re interested in joining my New Year’s Goals 2017 support group!  View this video!!!