Welcome back! If you’re new here, you may want to know what you’ve missed. For a quick overview of my past blog posts (part 1 and 2) click here.
Below is number 2 out of 5 MAJOR reasons for giving up on a dream. Many people are impacted deeply by this particular reason. As a reminder, all 5 reasons are created by your own inner-critic. The name I have given for that inner self-critic is “The Brain Bully.” Do not let it bully you around and have free reign over your mind anymore!
Overcoming reason number 2: (Being overly concerned about having other people’s approval.)
You guessed it, the Brain Bully takes over what it thinks other people are thinking about you and tells you all about it in your head; if you let it. Isn’t that just ridiculous!? What gives it that kind of power? … you do… unknowingly. That naughty-noggin will tell you things like,
“If I did this, this person wouldn’t like it.” Or, “If I said this, this person wouldn’t approve!!” Or, “No way I could focus my attention on that, that’s not what the typical person of my status would do and what would people think of that?” You know the routine by now of ridding yourself from that brain bullying torture! Just say,
“STOP BULLYING ME!!!!!!!”
Next, find out the intentions of your bully so it can stop pestering you with useless worry about what other people “might think” or “might say.” What is it trying to protect you from even though it’s communicating it in a non-productive way? Perhaps it’s trying to protect you from getting your feelings hurt when someone doesn’t agree with what you are doing. Maybe it just wants you to be prepared for when you find out someone didn’t like what you’ve done. Let’s get prepared and ready right now for when that happens so that our Brain Bully doesn’t feel like it needs to protect us from that anymore.
Here we go…
Every little step along the way of achieving your dreams will indefinitely be bogged down by other people not approving of you or what you are doing. You cannot keep such judgments from happening because it is everyone’s right to have his/her own opinion.
Just expect everyone to have an opinion about what you do. Of course they will!!! Some opinions will be good, some bad, and some non-partial. When you cater your actions to appease people’s opinion of you, you lose the significant value of your own self-approval.
Your self-approval is the ONLY authority empowering enough to overthrow the opinions of others. (If you believe in God, He can play a big role in this as well, but that’s a post for another day). Self-approval is the only approval necessary to achieve your dreams. All you need to do is decide what YOU want your dream to be. Then be sure you are doing it for the personal reasons YOU feel good about. Next, you do it, accept it and approve of what you’ve done regardless of what anyone else says. You approve of yourself no matter what the Brain Bully tells you others will think of you. You approve of what you have done regardless of the “Likes” it gets and no matter what the judgments are behind it. That is it! Goodbye Brain Bully and hello to self-approval! I know, it’s easier said than done; but it is doable with practice.
Update! My next blog post is up in this mini-series! Click here to view!
For more information about the importance of obtaining self-acceptance and and how to further do this, see this article by Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. As a Doctor in Psychology he has some helpful advice. Click here to view.
If you are interested in learning about overcoming reason number 3 for dreams dying before coming true. Click here to receive a personal email from me when my next post is up!
If you know of a publisher who would be interested in publishing a children’s book about this topic. Please email me the details here.
Until next time,
Be Gleefully Me (as you not as me;-)
If you want to be apart of my New Year’s Goals 2017 support group, view this video!!!